My Students

How to Tell...

I actually get asked quite a bit by other parents how I know Daniel is different. Of course anyone who spends any time with him usually picks up on it quickly, but what they are hinting at is that every parent thinks their little angel is special. I can read between the lines - and hear between the words. I am not by any means an expert on giftedness; I just research things that are interesting to me. But an interesting tidbit came up in my readings - parents are the primary identifiers of gifted children while teachers are often the worst identifiers of giftedness. That made me think...how is it that parents with little or no understanding of the topic are the best at identifying, while the education professionals are the worst? I think it comes down to a few important factors: 1) parents see their child across many settings, teachers do not; 2) parents get the opportunity to watch their child's development over time, teachers get a snapshot; and 3)often teachers expect gifted children to be their best pupils, when really there is no direct relationship with giftedness and earning good grades. Many times the gifted child is the who drives the teacher crazy with constant questioning and can't remember to do his math homework. I came across this video that discusses attributes of giftedness:

Adequate Progress

A few years back our county implemented an Advanced Academics program for the primary years. Now that we've had the program in place for a few years, we can really look at the data and determine the effectiveness of the program. Yes, all of the students are still scoring above grade level, but some of the "hard-core parents" - those of us who really belive in a full-time gifted program are not really pleased. Even though these students are scoring above grade level, they are not making the progress they could be making. I think the bare minimum should be annual growth of at least 1 grade level. Sometimes gifted children are not scrutinized for this - as long as they stay "advanced" no one cares. They should be looking at whether or not that child made the progress he or she could have - every child should be challenged every day in school.

I found this video that I think really emphasizes this point:

Parent Resources

I thought it might be nice to post some common resources for parents of gifted children:
National Association for Gifted Children http://www.nagc.org/

FLorida Association for the Gifted http://www.flagifted.org/


What can you do as a parent of a gifted child? You have to be vocal and make your platform known to your local school district. We have an advanced academics program in our district because 1 parent refused to accept the existing curriculum for her child. Right now we are putting together a secondary years IB program and organizng an IB Booster Club to support it. It is actually being paid for by community donations. None of that would be possible without parents taking the lead!

Welcome Home Peter Parker

After soccer games we go out to this little diner for breakfast and coffee. Well, next door to the diner is a new pet shop. Somehow we found ourselves in the pet shop after our pancakes looking at fish. No, Daniel has never had a pet. In his new school they have a class pet. He is a guinea pig named Fluffy who escapes on a regular basis. He also bites, so they don't really play with Fluffly too much.

So, I figured a pet would be a good way to start teaching responsibility. We settled on a fish. Daniel picked out a beautiful red and blue beta that he named Peter Parker - because he is the same colors as Spiderman. Now Daniel gives me daily updates on Peter Parker's mood. Apparently last night he was sad, but this morning he was happy again. We're still fighting over whether or not Peter Parker will be making an appearance at show and tell on Friday.

The Make Believe World of Daniel

I guess I had always assumed that all children had make believe friends and created fantasy games. During my research on early giftedness, I discovered that it is something that gifted children are more prone to do, but I guess I still didn't think it was odd. Daniel probably started his make belive play around the age of 2. So, after 2 years of this, it's pretty common place for me - I guess I don't notice it too much. One of his favorite games is to play make believe sports, especially football. He names all of the characters and creates elaborate plays. Of course, he is always the quarterback, but he doesn't really know the different positions, he just likes to throw the ball.



We were at the doctor's office waiting for an appointment, and Daniel decided to pass the time with a rousing game of imaginary football. I wasn't paying much attention to him - he was being quiet and not terroizing the fish in the office aquarium. The lady next to me was just amazed and kept telling me how impressed she was. Then she turned to another woman and pointed out Daniel's game. Of course, he stopped when he got attention. But it made me wonder, why people are so amazed when a child uses his imagination. That should be part of childhood. Instead of stressing over early literacy and how much we can accelerate learning, we should be encouraging creativity and imagination. We have so many years to be serious, we should let our children have fun while they can. After all, there are certain things you can only get away with in childhood - and imaginary football in the doctor's office is definitely one of them!

A Wizard in the Making

For some reason I was always under the impression that only girls played dress-up. That was until I had boys. I have discovered that boys like costumes just as much - maybe even more. So instead of ballerina and princess dresses, we have a melange of superhero get-ups, a pirate costume, and now a beloved harry Potter ensemble. I think maybe the difference between boy and girl dress-up is that boys - at least my little tyke - must truly become the character while donning the costume. Or maybe that's the little actor coming out in him.

Last night I heard "Ahoy Matey!" followed by a disturbing thunk sound. I walked into my bedroom to discover Daniel in full pirate garb standing on my bed hurling his daddy's belt at my ceiling fan. He was trying to swing like a pirate and I had visions of my celing fan crashing down under the weight of a 40 lb preschooler. I diverted him to another activity when the doorbell rang. Grandma had sent his Halloween costume for this year - Harry Potter, complete with a magic wand. Harry quickly moved to the top of the favorite costume list as Daniel spent the rest of the evening casting spells on his brother. After lights out, I could still hear him chanting "Expecto Patronum" from his room. This morning he asked for a broomstick...I can see it now - he will be trying to fly off the roof shortly!

Can I Bend it Like Beckham?

When my girlfriend called me and suggested that Daniel should play in the soccer league this year, I remember thinking that group sports would be a good experience for him. What could be better? He needs structure. Sports definitely offer structure. He likes to run. Soccer definitely involves running. So, we trotted on down to the YMCA and registered for Fall soccer. Then I learned the true reality of children's sports.

Practices were fun. Daniel was so excited he could barely control himself. Watching the poor coach try to organize 10 four-year-olds into some semblance of a scrimage was pretty entertaining...the phrase herding cats kept leaping into my mind. But, all in all, it was an enjoyable experience. Then we had our first game. First of all, the whole process of getting myself, my 1 year old and Daniel to the soccer field at 8:00 on a Saturday was a feat worthy of acclaim in itself. Surviving the other soccer parents was an even bigger accomplishment.

What kind of parent yells at their FOUR YEAR OLD because he isn't kicking the ball right. Come on people, these are little kids. Sports should be fun. It should be about teamwork and sportsmanship and getting a little exercise that doesn't involve destroying the living room. Sports should not be stressful in preschool. We don't keep score...we don't even have goalies for goodness sake. In the first game Daniel kicked a goal in the wrong end, and you know what, I didn't care. My child was so incredibly happy that I didn't even notice at first. The crazy father next to me was yelling at the team because they needed to pick it up or they were going to lose. Then another father came up to me last weekend and said, " You know these little guys are gonna be tearing it up on the football field ten years from now. This is where it all starts." I remember thinking to myself "Am I the only one here who doesn't need medication?" This is ridiculous. Why can't we just have fun? On the way home Daniel asked me who won, and I said we all did. He corrected me by saying, "No mommy! We can't all win. You're silly!" Well, I tried.

I know that despite all of my frustrations, we'll be standing in line again at Spring registration because my child is having a ball. He loves sports, and as long as he is having fun, we'll keep doing this. Now he's started asking about baseball...I wonder if baseball parents are any better...

It's All in the Label

A friend of mine recently shared some background information about her daughter with me. Her daughter graduated from high school last year and is now venturing out on her own for the first time. She was telling me how proud she is of her and despite how bright she is, that they really struggled to get her throgh school. Then she said something that really made me think. She said that they had her screened for gifted and she "didn't make it by 1 point." Now, this is second-hand information, as I was not present in the meeting she had with the school district staff, but as a parent I would have found that hard to digest. "Sorry, your child is smart, but that 1 point makes a difference in whether or not we can provide her with additional services" ?!

I have pondered this for several days now. Why is it that we must quantify intelligence? I use statistics in my argument for gifted services - usually with other parents - on a regular basis. We think nothing of special services, even intensive intervention, for a child functioning 2 or 3 standard deviations below the mean, but the thought of an equal amount of services for the child the same difference above the mean is questioned. So, I understand the usefulness of quantifying intelligences for practical uses. I don't understand why we would use quantifiable measures to limit a child. The standard practice is to provide gifted services to the top 2-3% of the population. So here is a child who is probably in the top 3.5-4% of the population. Obviously she is not cognitively challenged, yet she barely graduated from high school.

It is instances like this that make me wonder why we really need to pigeon hole children. It shouldn't all be a numbers game. I was asked recently when I will have Daniel tested for gifted. I have thought it about it and I have no idea when I will do that. The term "gifted" to me doesn't mean much. Even within "gifted" there is a whole spectrum of cognitive levels. We view autism as a spectrum, well, giftedness is the same way. A profoundly gifted child processes as differently from a standard gifted child as that child does from an average child. Are services significantly different for the profoundly gifted child? Not in our district. That child gets the same pull-out services. Their answer at the secondary level is to throw the child into accelerated courses. That is just more of the same. And God help the child who is LD gifted! They have no clue how to deal with that. So, is there any point to the testing? I'm not sure. When I look at Daniel, I know that his teachers will recognize he's different whether they have a label next to his name or not. That still won't ensure that they teach him any differently or understand his brain function any better.

What is a Cheetah?

I came across an article that really describes the attributes of giftedness. It's called "Is it a Cheetah?" Here is the link: http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm

I always share this article with anyone who asks why I am so vocal about gifted education. I was one of the cheetahs chasing 20 mph rabbits. I deserved better than that. So does my child. All of our children deserve an education that meets their needs.

Unspoken Communication

So....I followed through and met with the principal of the new school. She was very nice - warm and welcoming. She kept telling me how impressed she is that I am so proactive in my child's education. What she was really thinking - this parent will drive me crazy for the next 6 years. In some ways sensing that irritated me, because I feel like they are not taking my concerns seriously. On the other hand, I'm setting the stage now - sending them a very clear message that I won't put up with their bureaucratic nonsense.

What concerned me most from our meeting was how they (the principal and her curriculum person) kept harping on the academic rigor. I really don't give a flip about the rigor or Kindergarten. Kindergarten shouldn't be "rigorous." Do we want our children to completely hate school by the age of eight? As a parent, this deeply concerns me. As an educator, I am appalled. I very bluntly explained that I'm not concerned with how much academic content they can shove in my child's head over 180 days. I told them that the environment and the teacher are my concerns. I want a meaningful, engaging, learning environment with a teacher who understands the nature and needs of the gifted child. I want problem solving, creative interpretation, and social interaction. I want a teacher who understands why my child has imaginary friends, boundless energy, high anxiety, and an iron will. I want a teacher who understands why gifted children need differentiated curriculum. I want an administration who understands why I support a full-time gifted program. I guess I just want an education system that nurtures gifted children at all levels of their education.

At the end of our meeting, I was invited to visit a Kindergarten classroom - which I will do. I was also told that I should just go ahead and request a waiver to a different school if I want services for my son. I plan to do that as well.

Kindergarten Where?

Like any good parent, I checked out the school zones before we bought our house. We found the house we wanted, it was zoned for the right school. SOLD! They have a wonderful school grade, make adequately yearly progress every year, and the principal was my elementary school gifted teacher. Wonderful! We couldn't ask for more. When we realized that Daniel has special needs, I e-mailed the principal about what is available for students like Daniel and she told me about the advanced academics program. All of the teachers are gifted endorsed. They understand the minds they are shaping. I was really feeling empowered that I now understand my son, know what he needs, and can advocate for him.

The other shoe drops. My school district in their infinite wisdon has built a new school and re-drawn elementary school zones. We are now zoned for the new school - not the wonderful school that I can see from my front yard, not the one with the advanced academic program, not the one with a principal who understands the gifted child. No. My child is now destined to be bussed to another school - one without the advanced program and a principal who doesn't think gifted is a priority. We are being bussed to create racial and economic balance. My child's education is being swapped out so bureaucrats can keep the proponents of racial balance at bay. I've gone from being an empowered parent to a frustrated parent. And I'm e-mailing the principal of this new school to demand services for my son. We'll see what comes of this!

Discovering My Little Cheetah

"Mommy!" he screams and runs to me with messy strawberry hair and a smudge of dirt on his cheek. "I had a green day! Green day, Mommy! Look!" and he points to the color board. I give him a big grin and he wraps his arms around me tight. This is how most of my afternoons begin now with Daniel. He is my oldest son - a bright-eyed, strong-willed, four-year old ball of fire. A month ago, our days were not going so well. He was miserable at pre-school. Absolutely miserable. He would refuse to participate, refuse to cooperate, refuse to be nice to his classmates...pretty much refuse to do anything his teacher wanted him to do. I never thought I would be sitting in on parent-teacher conferences for a 3-yr old. His teacher looked to me as a parent and educator and expected me to fix the problem. I didn't have an answer then, but I do now.

The discipline issues had been building. Then, one day his teacher meets me at the door and tries to tell me my son is academically challenged (now, remember, he's only three). "He's just behind the other kids," she said. She then showed me his blank worksheets from the day, where he just refused to participate. I constantly have people, even complete strangers, come up to me and comment on how bright he is - I couldn't believe she was saying this. Being "delayed" was the last thing I expected to hear. I told her I disagreed that that constituted being "delayed," but I decided to follow-through with a screening. So, I signed Daniel up for the next pre-K development screening. He scored over 30. He needed a 3 to pass. Well, that answered the cognitive question. So, what was the root of the problem? Maybe he was just being three. I let it slide for a while.

Then the daily phone calls started. The teacher would call and tell me Daniel was being unruly. He was fighting, being ornory, even bit a child one day. I couldn't remember the last time he bit someone. Then he started acting out at home. Everything was a constant battle and I was tired. I pictured parenthood as having at least some fun moments with my child. I needed to unlock the code to Daniel. So, the academic in me emerged. I delved into the internet and started doing research. At first my searches were fruitless. Then, on a hunch, I decided to google pre-K giftedness. There isn't as much literature available for his age range, but what I was able to find seemed to answer so many questions. His mental ability not only answered the behavior question, but also so many other facets of Daniel's personality - his endless energy, his acute memory, his constant questioning, his lack of interest in sleeping, his early physical development and agility, and his display of multiple ages. By that last one, I mean one minute we're having a conversation about the principles of gravity and the next he's crying because his superman pajamas are dirty. Wow, I felt like I found the mothership! But then came the realization...how does this help Daniel. So what if he's smart, he still has to function in this environment. Sigh. I tried to speak to his teacher. Bigger sigh. I came to the conclusion that he needed gifted pre-K then faced terrible disappointment that our state has nothing along those lines.

Where we landed is a Montesorri pre-school. His teacher has raised two gifted children herself, and understands Daniel. She "Gets It." It's not the content, it's the environment, the itneractions, and the support. When I picked him up the first day, I asked how it went. I expected to hear horror stories, but to my surprise she showed me the color board and said it was green all day. I smiled. It was the first of many good afternoons.