"Mommy!" he screams and runs to me with messy strawberry hair and a smudge of dirt on his cheek. "I had a green day! Green day, Mommy! Look!" and he points to the color board. I give him a big grin and he wraps his arms around me tight. This is how most of my afternoons begin now with Daniel. He is my oldest son - a bright-eyed, strong-willed, four-year old ball of fire. A month ago, our days were not going so well. He was miserable at pre-school. Absolutely miserable. He would refuse to participate, refuse to cooperate, refuse to be nice to his classmates...pretty much refuse to do anything his teacher wanted him to do. I never thought I would be sitting in on parent-teacher conferences for a 3-yr old. His teacher looked to me as a parent and educator and expected me to fix the problem. I didn't have an answer then, but I do now.
The discipline issues had been building. Then, one day his teacher meets me at the door and tries to tell me my son is academically challenged (now, remember, he's only three). "He's just behind the other kids," she said. She then showed me his blank worksheets from the day, where he just refused to participate. I constantly have people, even complete strangers, come up to me and comment on how bright he is - I couldn't believe she was saying this. Being "delayed" was the last thing I expected to hear. I told her I disagreed that that constituted being "delayed," but I decided to follow-through with a screening. So, I signed Daniel up for the next pre-K development screening. He scored over 30. He needed a 3 to pass. Well, that answered the cognitive question. So, what was the root of the problem? Maybe he was just being three. I let it slide for a while.
Then the daily phone calls started. The teacher would call and tell me Daniel was being unruly. He was fighting, being ornory, even bit a child one day. I couldn't remember the last time he bit someone. Then he started acting out at home. Everything was a constant battle and I was tired. I pictured parenthood as having at least some fun moments with my child. I needed to unlock the code to Daniel. So, the academic in me emerged. I delved into the internet and started doing research. At first my searches were fruitless. Then, on a hunch, I decided to google pre-K giftedness. There isn't as much literature available for his age range, but what I was able to find seemed to answer so many questions. His mental ability not only answered the behavior question, but also so many other facets of Daniel's personality - his endless energy, his acute memory, his constant questioning, his lack of interest in sleeping, his early physical development and agility, and his display of multiple ages. By that last one, I mean one minute we're having a conversation about the principles of gravity and the next he's crying because his superman pajamas are dirty. Wow, I felt like I found the mothership! But then came the realization...how does this help Daniel. So what if he's smart, he still has to function in this environment. Sigh. I tried to speak to his teacher. Bigger sigh. I came to the conclusion that he needed gifted pre-K then faced terrible disappointment that our state has nothing along those lines.
Where we landed is a Montesorri pre-school. His teacher has raised two gifted children herself, and understands Daniel. She "Gets It." It's not the content, it's the environment, the itneractions, and the support. When I picked him up the first day, I asked how it went. I expected to hear horror stories, but to my surprise she showed me the color board and said it was green all day. I smiled. It was the first of many good afternoons.
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